Becoming

I am a checklist kind of girl. Something obsessive in my personality I suppose. I love writing down 'to do' lists and derive even greater satisfaction when I cross each item off the list. I think that's why some things in the Gospel have been relatively easy for me to accomplish. Anything that could be put on a checklist would get done. Daily Scripture Study - check. Visiting Teaching - check. A Year's Supply - check. Family History - check.

However, I realized some time ago, that while I was continually ticking through my checklists, I was missing the bigger picture. I wasn't becoming. I was superficially making my way through life without taking the time to become. Become more like the Savior. I wasn't taking the time, while running down my checklist, to really ponder and then apply what it meant to follow and emulate Him.

The above picture is one of the most poignant pictures I have. Growing up, my mother had a few cassette tapes that she would listen to. One particular tape had a women's choir singing " I Walked Today Where Jesus Walked". For some reason, that song always stayed with me.

Many, many years later, as a mother with children of my own, I had the privilege of visiting the Holy Land. My husband and I often discuss how life altering that experience was for us. At one point during the trip we were retracing the final days of our Savior. Our guide showed us some recently excavated stairs that led to Caiphas' palace where Christ was judged. While some sites in the Holy Land are 'best guesses' as to where different events happened, this was a certainty. The final hours of the Savior's life were weighing heavily on my mind as I slowly began climbing the stairs. As I began, the words to the song from my childhood came into my mind.

I walked today where Jesus walked,
In days of long ago.
I wandered down each path He knew,
With reverent step and slow.
Those little lanes, they have not changed,
A sweet peace fills the air.
I walked today where Jesus walked,
And felt Him close to me.

My pathway led through Bethlehem,
A memory's ever sweet.
The little hills of Galilee,
That knew His childish feet.
The Mount of Olives, hallowed scenes,
That Jesus knew before
I saw the mighty Jordan row,
As in the days of yore.

I knelt today where Jesus knelt,
Where all alone he prayed.
The Garden of Gethsemane,
My heart felt unafraid.
I picked my heavy burden up,
And with Him at my side,
Where on the Cross He Died.

I walked today where Jesus walked,
And felt Him close to me.

And then the Spirit whispered something to me that I will never forget. Every single day, as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a builder of the kingdom, I have the opportunity to walk where Jesus walked. I have the privilege of doing what He would do if He were standing there at that moment. I have the blessing of ministering on His behalf to His children. I have the privilege of being an emissary for Him, of walking where He walks.

But in order to walk where He walks, I must become as He is.

And for me, that takes more then a checklist.

I still love checklists - I make them almost every single day. In so many ways they help me accomplish the things that will help me to better know and become like the Savior. But they aren't the end all be all.

Some days I fail miserably to make any progress. Lots of days I fall about 15 steps back instead of taking a step forward. But I am grateful to understand the journey to become isn't something to be checked off a list, but is an eternal pursuit of learning to walk where He walks.