Parenting is Not for the Faint of Heart

I have a teenager.

He is a great kid who is dealing with teenage issues. The poor boy has a mother (me) who has no idea how to parent a great kid dealing with teenage issues. The poor boy has a father who is much better at dealing with teenage issues, but who is, unfortunately, in the final throws of residency and is seldom home when said teenager is awake.

Every single day I fall so unbelievably short of what I feel I should be for my children. It is so easy for me to interact with my littles, but it has been so much harder with my older children. Somehow, I'm not sure when, the dynamics of our relationship changed. Instead of constant chatter, there seems to be an awkwardness that wasn't there before. We haven't transitioned well (or maybe transitioned at all) into a parent-teen relationship. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure where to even start.

I've spent a lot of time thinking and on my knees over these concerns. Sometimes the answers I get are so counterintuitive. Sometimes I don't know how to implement the answers I receive. I think that that is part of the challenge right now, to trust the inspiration I have received and then seek further inspiration for implementation - trusting that even though it doesn't make sense to me, it is right. This isn't easy, but I suppose growth and humility don't come without struggle. And I need a great deal of both.

The book pictured above is one of my favorites. I have turned to it time and again and am preparing to reread it once more. One of my favorite quotes is from the preface-

   The scriptures are inexhaustible, and no one has mastered them except the Master himself, though
   he has promised he will guide the least of us through them if we ask. May these thoughts generate
   an interest and a curiosity in you to search the Lord's word for encouragement and revelation to
   bless you in your parenting, the most intensely and critical - and magnificently fulfilling - of all
   vocations. May you have the comfort - as you experience all the frustrations, apprehensions, and
   anxieties, as well as the elations, delights, and joys of being a mother or father - that the Savior
   himself lovingly spoke of your calling:
 
   "And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he
   said unto them, Whosever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and
   whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me" (Mark 9:36-37)

   Having a child in our home may be the closest thing to having the Father and Son themselves
   within our walls.

Thinking...

I've had a few thoughts rattling around in my head that I've been wanting to share, but the realizations are still in their infancy and I need to think on them a little longer. I do want to share this clip in the meantime...

Resolutions?

I used to really enjoy setting goals for the new year. I LOVED the week in-between Christmas and New Years because everything seemed so fresh and possible. And then, a few years ago, life became really hard on almost every front. When the new year rolled around, the thought of creating resolutions was almost laughable. But I did set a goal every January for the last several years, and that goal was simply to survive another year. As things have settled down in our lives a bit the last few months, I have very tentatively thought of setting a few new goals this year. I'm still not sure if I will beyond survival, but I am thinking about it. It always is amusing to me how my life perspective changes over time - from goal crazy to virtually no goal other than survival -maybe it's time for a happy medium?

A Merry Literary Christmas

(My oldest daughter falling in love with The Hobbit)

A Merry Literary Christmas

When Christmas shopping time draws nigh,

And I am faced with gifts to buy,

I think about one relative

Who always had one gift to give.

Year after year her present came,

And every year it was the same.

While other gifts were round and fat,

(Their secrets hidden) hers were flat,

Rectangular, the corners square,

I knew exactly what was there.

I'd pass it by without a look -

My aunt had sent another book!

I'd only open it to write

A "thank-you" that was too polite,

But every year when Christmas went

I'd read the book my aunt had sent,

And looking back, I realize

Each gift was a treasure in disguise.

So now it's time to write her here

A thank-you note that is sincere.

So - thanks for Alice and Sara Crewe,

For Christopher Robin and Piglet and Pooh,

For Little Nell and William Tell

And Peter and Wendy and Tinker Bell.

Thanks for Tom and Jim and Huck,

For Robinson Crusoe and Dab-Dab the duck,

For Meg and Jo and Johnny Crow

And Papa Geppetto's Pinocchio.

For Mary Poppins and Rat and Toad,

King Arthur and Dorothy's Yellow Brick Road,

For Kipling's Kim and tales from Grimm,

And Ferdinand, Babar, and Tiny Tim.

I loved them all, I'm so glad I met them.

They're with me still, I won't forget them.

So I'll give books on Christmas Day

Though I know what all my nieces will say -

I know it from the way the write

A "thank-you" that is too polite.

Alice Low 

This video was shown at our Relief Society Visiting Teaching Conference yesterday. I really appreciated the message and thought I would share. It's a little long, but well worth the time.